Raconteurist

Smooth move slick. Leaving yoga class in uptown, spot a fellow college alumni. I don’t claim to be a fashionista, but i prefer not to be seen dressed like a refugee (in my defense I’m going into work on a Sat. & will be putting a white lab coat over this garb.) Panic sets in, so of course I do what any imbecile would do. I turn, bend down & pretend I’m looking at something in the bushes. For what feels like 2 minutes, i stand gazing into the shrubbery like a catatonic, praying he’ll walk on by. Fat chance. He’s now a foot from me, but that doesn’t deter me from my ‘I’m oblivious’ tactic. Fail again.
“Reddington?”
Crap, my invisible button didn’t work! Damn you Wonder Woman & your lies!
“Reddington? Is that you?”
F***ed. Better come up with something good.
“I thought I saw a kitten.”
“What?”
“It was a bag. A plastic one.”
“What? Oh. What?” Smart man, doesn’t even go there…
“So random running into you. How’ve you’ve been? You haven’t changed at all!”
— No, no I have not. Still that awkward 17 year-old, I think to myself as I try to nonchalantly peel the White Strips off my teeth as we start to reminisce. Still not sure if the look on his face was sheer horror or bewildered amusement.
C. Reddington

The hardcore way to eat ramen noodles:
1 Boil water
2 Eat block of ramen
3 Drink boiled water
4 Snort flavored powder
5 F**k s**t up.

1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.

2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.

3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.

4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.

5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.

6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.

7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.

8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.

9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.

10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.

Live. Live.

Live.

Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up.

”